“A road to death” is a dream that I have seen some day ago which inspire me to wake up and write a story revolves around “what I have seen?” with some more interesting elements I will put in. Actually it is a story about a boy and girl who are strangers to each other but have same path to walk on, a same life to live, same people they both are fighting to survive. But they meet somewhere, somehow coincidentally; and the moments they met; the moment have been destined in their both lives which later will lead them to a road that will drag them to unexpected journey with some adventures, bitter and sweet experiences wrapped in truth and lie. A road that is called ” A road to death”.
I’m hoping to complete the story this time other wise I have left many story behind those need a final touch but this seem more interesting so I ‘m moulding my ways to complete this story first and then focus on other.
Life has been lonely for me since last meeting with my dear friends in Kasaulli. I came back but I left my heart there. I am here but my attention is to how to get her back. Though we have exchange contacts but no attempt have been made from both sides so far. I’m expecting her to make first move despite the fact that she is girl. But I’ve my reasons to not to make call since she said she had been move on and have someone in her life. But her body language didn’t seem that she is happy. I try to fathom what’s in her heart but you know it is very hard to know about the girl that what’s going on in her mind at the moment. Some time I think I should take a step ahead and call her but next moments something inside me prevents me from doing this. And I don’t know why I prevent my feeling and emotions whenever she comes and see me. I think whether I’m arrogant or too shy to render my feelings.
I’ve face this issue many time before and still not in control. I often become rigid or emotionless when it matter the most to render the feeling or to make someone feel what felt at that moment. I’m still alone despite many prospects in line.
Yeah! I pray to God to have mercy on me. But I know it is my own sole intention which prevents me from taking further step. Either I’m shying away from taking responsibilities or a fear of no which can disturb me for long. I don’t know; what it is? Whenever I think that now my life is going smooth and hardly any hurdle can unsettled me for bad luck something, somehow happen or arrive to haunt me.
Gradually I’m detaching myself from this world and people from this world; and developing in someone who really want to live alone when among the friends or people and when alone…think of someone who could accompany me all the time throughout of my life. But when I got any opportunity I lost as usual.
Sometime I think where I’m leading my life to; whether to better or worst.
The biggest question?
Sunday 25th May, I went on to a trip that was called by school friends for day. Well, I was not sure about attending the party but something; somewhere to someone I had made a promise to get back once in my life whenever I’ll get opportunity. And this was the day I went to complete my promise. A yelling girl with her little brother moving alone on her house rooftop is something I’ll never forget. Every time I pass through her house, my eyes search only for her. She was the first girl I literately felt for, I can’t live without and still I let her go without speaking a word. That was the most horrible mistake I have made in my life and mistake have haunted me for years and yet I can’t get off those beautiful memories.
I was a mourn that I didn’t stay.
I never told this story to anyone.
Although I told an imaginary story by putting some element of my real story.
So last day was the day when I went to Kasauli for a friend’s reunion. I didn’t knew that a surprise was waiting for me. When I reached the venue my friends were there and seem very happy. We had some chat and discussion over thing that we went through over the years. Then they said they are waiting for a guest. And the guest arrived, I didn’t paid attention as I was busy cuddling with my best friends at corner, suddenly for my surprise someone touch my shoulder and I was awestruck, Mouth wide opened, eyes moist and …. “How are you?” She said. I was unmovable and feeling helpless, couldn’t utter a word from mouth for few seconds. Then my friends standing beside me pinch me and I come back to the reality. I said, “I am very well”, How you? She just nodded her head in yes. I was blank and think how I’ll handle the situation. My friends cheated me and didn’t tell me about her, otherwise I would have been thought something what will be the situation; and prepared myself for jolts. I was clueless and having now answer to staring eyes. Just hoping to apology but didn’t knew that she was far ahead of me and moved on.
Finally I decided to talk to her about what happened and the reason why I left her estranged. But she Said, “It’s ok! Things happen in life when you have no control over them and you have to flow with flow of the life. Her calm look and direct approach made climate easier to me. Then I talked to her about other topic. Her life was going nice and smooth as she said. I asked about the marriages plan because she was single as yet. I felt so cozy in her company that I never felt in my entire life in anyone company. I wanted to stayed long as long possible and never wanted to end that surprise meeting but you know sometime we lost something precious never come back. I was at the same verges. All time I just talked to her and when time comes to say goodbye, everyone left the party with some promises to somewhere at some point to meet again and reminiscing the life we live together for some time.
I for the first time hold her hand tight as we were only two left there ( I knew my some of my friends left deliberately) she didn’t tried to free her hand, I knew it. But somewhere I felt that she may not want all that memory. But I didn’t want to leave her alone that time. And desperately wanted to stay with her as long as possible……..to be continued